Worst Week Ever

Until this morning I didn't think that it was possible to have a Worst Week Ever until at least Friday afternoon. I really didn't. Surely by Wednesday the week can't be that bad yet, can it?

Monday, March 19
Most Attentive leaves for the ATL for the week. Then my permanent retainer (see image) breaks when I bite into an English muffin - this sucks because it means that I will need to not only find an orthodontist but will also need to make an appointment and go to the orthodontist - something I vowed I would never do again after the orthodontia nightmare that was ages 10 - 16.

The orthodontia break also serves as a reminder that I haven't been to the dentist in quite some time (quite some time for me is about 3 years too long). So, I make a dentist appointment for the same day. The outcome of 3 years of not taking care of my oral hygeine? A zillion cavities and a referral to an oral surgeon for a mandatory wisdom tooth extraction.

Topping it all off? Snow. I know what you're thinking - you live in Boston, get used to it.

Why don't you get used to freezing your tits off only a day after frolicking in 70 degree weather and then get back to me, ok? Yea, fuck you.

Tuesday, March 20
Orthodontist appointment at 10:00am. While my new doctor is infinitely better than my old orthodontist Dr. Rana (hi and fuck you, Dr. Rana!!) she's still no Mother Teresa when it comes to oral care.

I firmly believe that you have to have a screw loose upstairs to become an orthodontist. Seriously - $110 to have a torture device RE-BONDED to my bottom teeth by a sadist? Why not just complete the job and whip me or something?

Dental cleaning at 2:00pm. Not to be confused with the appointment on Monday; this is the one where they actual take the Instruments of Death and scrape the shit out of your teeth and gums. No matter how gentle the hygenist is, it's not gentle enough. At the same time I'm getting my teeth cleaned Most Attentive calls and leaves me a voicemail requesting a call back by 5:00pm. I call back, expecting something marginal, and am instead greeted with a "Hi, Linds, I just had an appendectomy."

Now, if you don't know me personally, there's no way you could know that I overreact about EVERYTHING. Have a hangnail? I'll get nervous about infection. Need emergency surgery? I hyperventilate.

Wednesday, March 21
Somehow through all the worrying I didn't get any sleep - shocker, I know. When I don't get any sleep it is a very distinct possibility that I will not be able to get up, even with my alarm screaming bloody murder. So - I overslept and rolled into the office building at 9:30 this morning. I will admit, I was pretty pleased with myself that I made it to work before 10:00am.

Little did I know the Mother of Bad Things was about to happen; on my way up to work I got caught in an elevator. This isn't really a big deal to alot of people - it's more of an inconvenience. To me? It's a nightmare realized.

I hate elevators. I hate everything about them. I have a fear of being stuck in an elevator and having it fall to the ground thus resulting in my own horrific demise. I also have an active imagination. Put those two together and you have a panic attack in an elevator. At 9:30am.

Awesome week so far, don't ya think?