Chasing Ordinary: April 2008

21 April 2008

17 April 2008

In the News

My Beautiful Mommy" is aimed at kids ages four to seven and features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better." Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

The text doesn't mention the breast augmentation, but the illustrations intentionally show Mom's breasts to be fuller and higher. "I tried to skirt that issue in the text itself," says Salzhauer. "The tummy lends itself to an easy explanation to the children: extra skin and can't fit into your clothes. The breasts might be a stretch for a six-year-old."

The book doesn't explain exactly why the mother is redoing her nose post-pregnancy. Nonetheless, Mom reassures her little girl that the new nose won't just look "different, my dear—prettier!"

Seriously?

10 April 2008

Dear T.S. Eliot,

You were right. April is the cruelest month.

-Lindsay

08 April 2008

Missin' You Like Candy

Emma: she's the type of celebrity i would totally want to party in a dive bar with

Lindsay: um YEA

Lindsay: I would totally hang out with Mandy Moore

Lindsay: …and I like to think that Mandy Moore would like to hang out with us as well.

Emma: yes

Emma: she would give us clothing advice

Emma: and lip gloss

Lindsay: and then we'd get drunk and sing Journey.

Emma: we would buy her one more jaeger bomb

Emma: it would be a party

Lindsay: yes.

Lindsay: that's it.

Lindsay: my new mission in life: become friends with Mandy Moore

Emma: yessssssss.

Emma: goal for summer 2008: stalk out Mandy Moore in a subtle way. Befriend. Party.

07 April 2008

There are some foods in this world that will turn an intelligent adult male into a 12-year old boy in a matter of seconds. As I witnessed last night, tacos are one such food. Foregoing utensils, Boyfriend scarfed his way through about 5 tacos, only coming up for air once he realized we were out of meat filling.

At which point he promptly picked up and ate whatever filling had fallen out of my tacos... with his hands.

I don't care what anyone says, boys are super gross.

04 April 2008

Wedding Bells

Last summer I had the honor of planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for my dear friend Kristina... and, while I love Kristina and I think she had a great time at those events I do not love the stress that comes along with the planning.

That's why I was so happy when the last toast was given at her wedding. It was over - the planning and the bargaining and budgeting. She was a starry eyed newlywed and I was her very in need of a vacation Maid of Honor.

This summer, I again have the honor of planning a bridal shower and bachelor/bachelorette party --this time, for my first roommate Tess. I can't help but worry that I won't bring as much joy and personality to her shower as I did to Kristina's because I know what happened when I approached the event that way. Chaos ensued.

I've already started approaching this shower differently. I just had a kick-off conference call with the other two women involved and have, since then, created a spreadsheet of things that need to be done and due dates.

You know what I've done? Turned being a Maid-of-Honor into a career.