Waking Nightmare.

It was like going from a horrible nightmare into the best dream ever. And then I woke up this morning and was back in the nightmare.

Something has got to give... I'm just not sure what.

To better prepare myself for the impending vacation (6 days to go!) to Jamaica, I have done several things that I once swore off completely. These things include, but are not exclusive to, the following:

• Tanning. That's right, kids, I, Casper the friendly Marketing Manager, have started tanning. This is solely for the purpose of creating a base tan --aka a protective layer of melanin-- before I get to the resort and the sun has a field day with my fish-belly white skin.


• Buying/wearing shorts outside of the bedroom. On Saturday I went to Pacific Sunwear with a mission. Find shorts that are none of the following: short-shorts, bermuda shorts, capris, or denim. I found these little plaid ones by Roxy. This leads me to my next bullet:


• Wearing plaid. I know. I know. I've made fun of Tom and his plaid for about 4 years now and what am I going and doing but sticking that same pattern right on my bum. That said, I think we can all agree that my plaid is different from Tom's plaid. His is usually flannel and that's just not right (sorry, Tom! I still like that photo hoodie you're so fond of?).
  


• "Dieting". Before everyone goes all Jewish Grandmother on me and starts clucking about how I need to eat more, I'm already skin and bones, I'm not drinking only water and eating a cube of cheese every now and then to prevent myself from passing out. I'm just not eating an entire pizza (anymore - I swear last night was it!).


• Doing homework well before the due date. Yep, that's right. I have a few papers due right after spring break and, instead of waiting until I get back on Sunday to research and write two 20-pagers I have actually started the research and *gasp* even the writing.


• Packing before the last minute. Traditionally, I will wait until 10:00pm the night before a flight to even remember to pack. At that point I will usually throw a pair of panties (that one is for you, Fel) in the empty suitcase and then decide to go out, grab a drink, write the next great American novel, and learn the tuba. When 3:00am rolls around and I'm exhausted from the wine and accomplishment I will complete packing, inevitably forgetting something crucial - like pants. This won't happen for this trip. I'm so stoked on life for this vacation I'm already packed. 6 days in advance.
  

Be Jealous

After a 5 year hiatus from all things relaxing, I am getting on one of these for three hours:

To take me here for a week:

Actual image of the actual hotel that we are actually staying at.

In that week I will be doing nothing but drinking these:

Mimi Vice (aka half pina colada and half strawberry daquiri) the best frozen drink ever

While lying down for hours on this: