Waking Nightmare.

It was like going from a horrible nightmare into the best dream ever. And then I woke up this morning and was back in the nightmare.

Something has got to give... I'm just not sure what.

To better prepare myself for the impending vacation (6 days to go!) to Jamaica, I have done several things that I once swore off completely. These things include, but are not exclusive to, the following:

• Tanning. That's right, kids, I, Casper the friendly Marketing Manager, have started tanning. This is solely for the purpose of creating a base tan --aka a protective layer of melanin-- before I get to the resort and the sun has a field day with my fish-belly white skin.


• Buying/wearing shorts outside of the bedroom. On Saturday I went to Pacific Sunwear with a mission. Find shorts that are none of the following: short-shorts, bermuda shorts, capris, or denim. I found these little plaid ones by Roxy. This leads me to my next bullet:


• Wearing plaid. I know. I know. I've made fun of Tom and his plaid for about 4 years now and what am I going and doing but sticking that same pattern right on my bum. That said, I think we can all agree that my plaid is different from Tom's plaid. His is usually flannel and that's just not right (sorry, Tom! I still like that photo hoodie you're so fond of?).
  


• "Dieting". Before everyone goes all Jewish Grandmother on me and starts clucking about how I need to eat more, I'm already skin and bones, I'm not drinking only water and eating a cube of cheese every now and then to prevent myself from passing out. I'm just not eating an entire pizza (anymore - I swear last night was it!).


• Doing homework well before the due date. Yep, that's right. I have a few papers due right after spring break and, instead of waiting until I get back on Sunday to research and write two 20-pagers I have actually started the research and *gasp* even the writing.


• Packing before the last minute. Traditionally, I will wait until 10:00pm the night before a flight to even remember to pack. At that point I will usually throw a pair of panties (that one is for you, Fel) in the empty suitcase and then decide to go out, grab a drink, write the next great American novel, and learn the tuba. When 3:00am rolls around and I'm exhausted from the wine and accomplishment I will complete packing, inevitably forgetting something crucial - like pants. This won't happen for this trip. I'm so stoked on life for this vacation I'm already packed. 6 days in advance.
  

Be Jealous

After a 5 year hiatus from all things relaxing, I am getting on one of these for three hours:

To take me here for a week:

Actual image of the actual hotel that we are actually staying at.

In that week I will be doing nothing but drinking these:

Mimi Vice (aka half pina colada and half strawberry daquiri) the best frozen drink ever

While lying down for hours on this:

Thinking

Screw women's lib, I could totally get used to this whole 'being taken care of' thing.

REPENT YE SINNERS!

Harvard beat BU in the first round of the Beanpot.

Maybe Johnny and the Mayans are right and the end of this era really is nigh....

Thinking

I want to see a whole lot of really bad movies lately, including:

• Jumper - traditionally I hate movies with Hayden Christiansen. His doleful, pretty face reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. This isn't bad its just distracting... and lets all face the facts people, unless you concentrate really hard on the movie to get past HC's horrible acting, you're can't enjoy the film.


• Be Kind Rewind - Jack Black and Mos Def working in a video store and re-recording their own versions of movies because apparently one of them was magnetized or something and it erased all the film in the store? This is going to be AWESOMELY BAD.


• Step Up 2 The Streets - I only want to see this on the off chance that Channing Tatum will be making an appearance in the film. I won't lie.


• Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds - There's no excuse for this one. Now the internet knows my secret shame.

Charming

Last night was Valentine's Day and Boyfriend made me dinner. Really delicious dinner... and then he showed me the first part of my present - a blow torch. Needless to say, I was confused.

Then he showed me what was waiting in the refrigerator.

Ramekin after ramekin of creme brulee. HOMEMADE CREME BRULEE. My favorite dessert ever that I can only get at schmancy restaurants because its custard-y deliciousness is really difficult to do correctly.

...after dinner and delicious dessert I got a lovely massage that made me all relaxed and half-closed eyed. After that, we went to bed where Boyfriend, the non-cuddler, more or less slept on top of me - and I loved every minute of it.

I usually hate Valentine's Day because I think it's ridiculous, regardless of my relationship status. But this year? This year I totally and completely loved every freaking minute of it.

How to depress me

Send me a refund check for $10,575.00 and in the same breath tell me that it's earmarked for my summer courses.

Balls.

Do you know how much that could buy!?

How the Universe responded to my last post:

1. Torrential downpours. Goodbye, beautiful snow. Goodbye, dry feet. Goodbye, any hope of looking decent at work and school. Hello, late-for-work-and-class-drowned-rat-Lindsay.
   


2. Long hours at a shitty office with unappreciative people who apparently have mistaken me for someone with the ability to turn back time.
   


3. Major guilt for neglecting Boyfriend this week. Major major major.
   

I can't wait to go snowboarding. I've already told my boss that I'm not going to be in town and that despite his best efforts to track me down electronically I will be staying in one room log cabin without running water, let alone cell connection, in the middle of Juhbumblefuck, Upstate.*

*In reality, Boyfriend and I will be staying at The Spa (also known as my parent's house) which is located in a very populated area that the US Census Bureau has deigned to label a "small city". My boss however believes the roughing it story (minus log cabin, I'm sure) because anywhere past Westchester to New York City folk is the sticks, ya'll.

3 reasons my day was awesome.

1. It snowed. Enough to stick to the ground. Finally. I've seriously been waiting for this since November. (Also, to anyone in the New York City area who is about to start complaining about the snow, screw you. Snow is made of chilly awesome and it covers all the ugly of this godforsaken world in a blanket of sparkling pretty for a few hours.)



2. I was locked out of my personal office today for about 2 hours. Now, one would assume that I was un-locked out of my office by locksmith or a maintenance man. One would be wrong. After several attempts to pick the lock (all unsuccessful) by various comp sci people one brave engineer stepped up and KICKED MY DOOR IN. What used to be my workable office door is now a splintered slab of wood on hinges.

1. Boyfriend called and asked me on a date for Valentine's Day. Now, I know that lots of you are thinking, "but Lindsay, you've been with Boyfriend for over a year. What gives?" I refer you back to the first sentence of this section. My boyfriend called and asked me out on a date. Do you know when the last time he actually asked me on a date was? Really? That's funny - neither do I. After a year 'dates' don't really happen so much as meeting up for dinner and drinks (maybe) and then going to bed at a sensible hour.
   

Bonus Awesome: Going snowboarding this weekend.