I just got back from spending my Christmas Eve at the movies with Stacy.
First of all, there is something very wrong with that sentence. Christmas Eve is meant to be spent eating Chinese food and watching the Muppet Christmas Carol in my parent's living room, next to the fireplace and the Christmas tree, not in a movie theatre. It is not meant to be spent in a Frank Theatres (I shit you not) watching a movie that should have been called "Inappropriate and the Makeshift Family Reunion" instead of "Margot at the Wedding".
Whoever gave this movie a decent review is a) deranged or b) too embarrassed to admit that, like the rest of the world, they just didn't get it.
What was it about?
Why was Jack Black crying?
Are the neighbors vampires?
Why doesn't that kid wear deodorant?
What made Nicole Kidman do this movie?
The world will never know.
Seriously, I don't think that I have ever before said at the end of a movie, "What the hell was that even about?"
No idea, folks. None. And now I'm sitting here in my home sweet Residence Inn by myself listening to the timer on the fake fireplace as I stare at the pathetic tabletop Christmas tree my mom decorated today.
24 December 2007
23 December 2007
The Top Three Reasons I Don't Want to Live in Philadelphia
Also known as the Top Three Headlines on the Local 11:00 News this evening:
- The Lojack Baby Jesus
- South Philly Starbucks Stabbing
- The Firehouse that Caught on Fire
21 December 2007
The Year of Lindsay: A Recap
Yes, I realize that the premise of this post is jacked from amazo.blogspot.com but I don't care. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery or whatever. I know/hope that Johnny Bombay will see it that way.
January:
It is declared the Year of Lindsay. Super Best Friend and I make resolutions to keep our resolutions for the year. By the end of the month our resolutions have been resolved. We declare ourselves the best resolution resolvers ever.
February:
I interview for a job doing web analytics at the NBA. I don't get the job. The weather is cold and clear on February 13 - New Boyfriend and I celebrate Valentine's Day on this day instead just in case. It wintry mixes in Boston on February 14 to the point that Boyfriend decides to work from home. He decides to brave the weather to hand deliver me flowers at my cube.
March:
St Patrick's Day at Aly's house on P Street. Felecia and I have both decided to apply to graduate school. We visit Seattle so she can look at University of Washington - she falls in love with the cherry blossoms and is sold on the West Coast.
April:
Clearly, this month didn't happen. All I remember about it is Easter Brunch at Tavern. Afterwards, I go home to watch an ANTM marathon on MTV. Oh right, and somewhere in here I decide that no matter what I am going to move to NYC.
May:
I am rejected from the only grad school I actually wanted to go to. I'm crushed but don't let anyone know this mostly because my pride gets in the way. I am uncertain about the move to NYC now but don't tell anyone.
June:
I throw a bridal shower/bachelorette party for Kristina in NY. At this party I learn that sometimes friendships from the past can't be rebuilt and resolve to stop any effort I may have planned on putting forth because at the end of the day, it's just not worth the pain.
July:
Attend a family reunion with Boyfriend and his family. It goes remarkably well which seems to spook him. He gets over it in about two days and we return to normal. I tell him I love him two weeks later.
August:
Kristina is married. I cry big fat tears at the wedding and give what I'm sure was a horrible Maid of Honor speech at the reception.
September:
Move to NYC. Get a new job. Move in with two strangers on the UES (go craigslist.com). Cry alot. Miss my friends in Boston and my friends in upstate. Cry some more and think that maybe this move is the biggest mistake I could have ever made. Lose 10 lbs from the stress.
October:
Start new job with the fancy new title and fancy new salary and a shitty little office with no windows. Still have a hard time. Instead, spend an evening having a nervous breakdown at John's apartment watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman and petting an adorable dog named Frank the Tank. Miss Boston even more. Lose 10 lbs more from the stress. Re-apply to graduate school.
November:
Turn 25. Assume that since I haven't heard back from NYU that I haven't gotten in. Again. Feel inadequate. Again.
December (so far):
Receive an e-mail from NYU admissions. I'm in. Still feel a little inadequate but am starting to get over it. Give a presentation in front of company bigwigs at my new job and make a lasting impression (a good one). Have an argument with my father about how he treats people and refuse to speak to him until he apologizes. Get ready for a silent Christmas in Philadelphia with my brother's girlfriend's family.
January:
It is declared the Year of Lindsay. Super Best Friend and I make resolutions to keep our resolutions for the year. By the end of the month our resolutions have been resolved. We declare ourselves the best resolution resolvers ever.
February:
I interview for a job doing web analytics at the NBA. I don't get the job. The weather is cold and clear on February 13 - New Boyfriend and I celebrate Valentine's Day on this day instead just in case. It wintry mixes in Boston on February 14 to the point that Boyfriend decides to work from home. He decides to brave the weather to hand deliver me flowers at my cube.
March:
St Patrick's Day at Aly's house on P Street. Felecia and I have both decided to apply to graduate school. We visit Seattle so she can look at University of Washington - she falls in love with the cherry blossoms and is sold on the West Coast.
April:
Clearly, this month didn't happen. All I remember about it is Easter Brunch at Tavern. Afterwards, I go home to watch an ANTM marathon on MTV. Oh right, and somewhere in here I decide that no matter what I am going to move to NYC.
May:
I am rejected from the only grad school I actually wanted to go to. I'm crushed but don't let anyone know this mostly because my pride gets in the way. I am uncertain about the move to NYC now but don't tell anyone.
June:
I throw a bridal shower/bachelorette party for Kristina in NY. At this party I learn that sometimes friendships from the past can't be rebuilt and resolve to stop any effort I may have planned on putting forth because at the end of the day, it's just not worth the pain.
July:
Attend a family reunion with Boyfriend and his family. It goes remarkably well which seems to spook him. He gets over it in about two days and we return to normal. I tell him I love him two weeks later.
August:
Kristina is married. I cry big fat tears at the wedding and give what I'm sure was a horrible Maid of Honor speech at the reception.
September:
Move to NYC. Get a new job. Move in with two strangers on the UES (go craigslist.com). Cry alot. Miss my friends in Boston and my friends in upstate. Cry some more and think that maybe this move is the biggest mistake I could have ever made. Lose 10 lbs from the stress.
October:
Start new job with the fancy new title and fancy new salary and a shitty little office with no windows. Still have a hard time. Instead, spend an evening having a nervous breakdown at John's apartment watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman and petting an adorable dog named Frank the Tank. Miss Boston even more. Lose 10 lbs more from the stress. Re-apply to graduate school.
November:
Turn 25. Assume that since I haven't heard back from NYU that I haven't gotten in. Again. Feel inadequate. Again.
December (so far):
Receive an e-mail from NYU admissions. I'm in. Still feel a little inadequate but am starting to get over it. Give a presentation in front of company bigwigs at my new job and make a lasting impression (a good one). Have an argument with my father about how he treats people and refuse to speak to him until he apologizes. Get ready for a silent Christmas in Philadelphia with my brother's girlfriend's family.
14 December 2007
Religious Devotion
This has been a very interesting holiday season for me. For one, as you all know from my "This Christmas" post, I am being banished to a Residence Inn in a suburb of Philadelphia for Christmas. This trip sucks a little more each day and if you want to know more, tough shit, I don't want to talk about.
For two, this is the first Christmas season that I have found myself becoming an increasingly devout member of the Church. The Church of Marc by Marc Jacobs. Seriously guys, I love everything Marc by Marc Jacobs that I see to the point that I'm actually purchasing things and not simply salivating over them.
True, to date I have only bought one item. But what a gateway drug they've turned out to be (similar to the whole, "life after death, all your sins are forgiven" hoopla). I mean, just look at them! They're turquoise patent leather and chocolate ribbon, they're flat, and they're fabulous. Oh right, and they're comfortable enough for me to wear whenever I want.... like if I'm running around the East Village on a bar crawl Saturday night and need to run boring errands Sunday and want to feel a little bit fancy.
(thanks to Mindy Kaling for the tip. You know, just in case she ever reads this thing. Which she doesn't. Because she's famous and has better things to do.)
Like all good gateway drugs do, these shoes have given me a taste of something new. Something new and sassy and altogether fabulous... and expensive.
That's right, after the shoes arrived (one day after ordering, I might add) I started shopping around for other Marc by Marc Jacobs items. First on zappos.com, the original instigator, where I found a really amazing handbag that is large enough for all my important work stuff (shoes, wallet, iPod, cell phone, scarf, hat, brush, lipgloss, spare underwear and contact case in case I don't go home that night... alright, you've got me, I don't ever carry anything important to and from work) and also cute enough for all of my important nights out (during which it will hold exactly the same items listed as 'important work stuff'). Unfortunately, I can't afford this little beauty just yet seeing as it costs $451.00 and I have yet to acquire the Midas touch (King Midas that is, not the car repair Midas).
The last thing that I've found that I absolutely must have isn't even located at zappos.com... it's at Bloomingdales and would only ever fit in the biggest of the Big Brown Bags.
Seriously, how gorgeous is this coat? And how unaffordable at over $500. Thankfully I think I might be getting it as a Christmas present/peace offering from my parents for two reasons:
1) being so go with the flow about heading to Philadelphia for the holidays
2) all my winter coats make me look like a member of the chorus from Oliver Twist, complete with holes, missing buttons, and sizing issues.
For two, this is the first Christmas season that I have found myself becoming an increasingly devout member of the Church. The Church of Marc by Marc Jacobs. Seriously guys, I love everything Marc by Marc Jacobs that I see to the point that I'm actually purchasing things and not simply salivating over them.
True, to date I have only bought one item. But what a gateway drug they've turned out to be (similar to the whole, "life after death, all your sins are forgiven" hoopla). I mean, just look at them! They're turquoise patent leather and chocolate ribbon, they're flat, and they're fabulous. Oh right, and they're comfortable enough for me to wear whenever I want.... like if I'm running around the East Village on a bar crawl Saturday night and need to run boring errands Sunday and want to feel a little bit fancy.(thanks to Mindy Kaling for the tip. You know, just in case she ever reads this thing. Which she doesn't. Because she's famous and has better things to do.)
Like all good gateway drugs do, these shoes have given me a taste of something new. Something new and sassy and altogether fabulous... and expensive.
That's right, after the shoes arrived (one day after ordering, I might add) I started shopping around for other Marc by Marc Jacobs items. First on zappos.com, the original instigator, where I found a really amazing handbag that is large enough for all my important work stuff (shoes, wallet, iPod, cell phone, scarf, hat, brush, lipgloss, spare underwear and contact case in case I don't go home that night... alright, you've got me, I don't ever carry anything important to and from work) and also cute enough for all of my important nights out (during which it will hold exactly the same items listed as 'important work stuff'). Unfortunately, I can't afford this little beauty just yet seeing as it costs $451.00 and I have yet to acquire the Midas touch (King Midas that is, not the car repair Midas).The last thing that I've found that I absolutely must have isn't even located at zappos.com... it's at Bloomingdales and would only ever fit in the biggest of the Big Brown Bags.
Seriously, how gorgeous is this coat? And how unaffordable at over $500. Thankfully I think I might be getting it as a Christmas present/peace offering from my parents for two reasons:1) being so go with the flow about heading to Philadelphia for the holidays
2) all my winter coats make me look like a member of the chorus from Oliver Twist, complete with holes, missing buttons, and sizing issues.
12 December 2007
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service?
From the time I was a sophomore in high school to my senior year of college I was a faithful
servant of Abercrombie & Fitch. Everything I owned - from my underwear to my winter coat to my perfume - came from that mecca of destroyed denim and tissue tees with retarded phrases .
In fairness, in those days I was impossibly small, preppy cool was all the rage, and A&F was the only store that seemed to understand that a size 2 could possibly be taller than 5'5". I say those days because that is the A&F of old, my friends.
Abercrombie today is all about the prepubescent sexuality... making skirts so short that they could double as a belt and shirts so tight that they barely fit over my bitty boobies.
Seriously, walking into that store just smells like teenage prostitutes and whiny brats. If the smells weren't bad enough, the store branding is visually X-rated as well. Seriously, pictures of teens wearing almost nothing (or nothing at all) are plastered all over the walls, silently judging you for not being a size 00. It's enough to drive a girl insane.
...clearly, it was enough to drive the gentlemen in the below video to take a (hilarious) stand by converging on the 5th Ave. Abercrombie & Fitch shirtless.
Amazing.
servant of Abercrombie & Fitch. Everything I owned - from my underwear to my winter coat to my perfume - came from that mecca of destroyed denim and tissue tees with retarded phrases .In fairness, in those days I was impossibly small, preppy cool was all the rage, and A&F was the only store that seemed to understand that a size 2 could possibly be taller than 5'5". I say those days because that is the A&F of old, my friends.
Abercrombie today is all about the prepubescent sexuality... making skirts so short that they could double as a belt and shirts so tight that they barely fit over my bitty boobies.
Seriously, walking into that store just smells like teenage prostitutes and whiny brats. If the smells weren't bad enough, the store branding is visually X-rated as well. Seriously, pictures of teens wearing almost nothing (or nothing at all) are plastered all over the walls, silently judging you for not being a size 00. It's enough to drive a girl insane.
...clearly, it was enough to drive the gentlemen in the below video to take a (hilarious) stand by converging on the 5th Ave. Abercrombie & Fitch shirtless.
Amazing.
05 December 2007
The Office - Real Life Style
San Diego reminds me of Boston with palm trees. It's even got it's very own green line-esque subway system that goes right past my hotel. Unfortunately, I don't get to see alot of any of this fair city because i am stuck inside the convention center at the hotel.
That's right, I'm at a tradeshow. My company has made me and the rest of us working the booth dress alike in idiot wear and hock useless product. I would hate it but it's just so ridiculous that I can't do anything but laugh. Seriously. We all look like tools. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING PERSON IN THE EXHIBIT HALL. (Don't worry, I'll post pictures later on this week).
I can deal with this until tomorrow... but that's about it.
That's right, I'm at a tradeshow. My company has made me and the rest of us working the booth dress alike in idiot wear and hock useless product. I would hate it but it's just so ridiculous that I can't do anything but laugh. Seriously. We all look like tools. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING PERSON IN THE EXHIBIT HALL. (Don't worry, I'll post pictures later on this week).
I can deal with this until tomorrow... but that's about it.
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